A needle in a haystack

When my sweet Julia was first born, I had A LOT of questions. Luckily, my mom is only a quick FaceTime call away. I got a lot of advice from people on multiple issues, but sometimes it left me feeling confused. Different people have different opinions on how you should care for your child. It left me wondering which way was 'right'. Various internet searches turned up much the same thing. Different websites and specialists had different opinions on every matter imaginable. Finding the answer I was looking for was like finding a needle in a haystack. It took a few weeks for me to realise  that the 'right' answer is whatever I felt (instinctively) was right for Julia and myself. It doesn't matter how much advice you get from others or how many websites you cruise, what you choose must feel right for you and baby! 

Now we are getting to what this blog is really about. I encourage you to go against the advice of others, don't listen to every internet advice, but try anything that feels right for you and baby! Here's my first 'instinctive parenting' story...

Question: Is it wrong to have Julia sleep in my bed?

You heard me. Julia sleeps in our bed. There, I said it. Queue the gasps, the comments that she'll be in my bed till she's 35, etc.

Julia sleeping in our bed started off 'by accident'. As a nursing mother, I found it a lot easier to get up for her night feedings with her close by. Yes, I had a bassinette beside the bed but sometimes she wouldn't settle, or sometimes I found it easier to just put her down beside me and drift back to sleep. Now, Julia sleeps in her crib for half the night and in our bed for the other half. I find the night feedings a lot easier when she is right next to me.

Does she refuse to sleep anywhere but next to me, in our bed? Of course not! She sleeps anywhere! Bassinette, crib, car seat, couch; heck, she even sleeps on her play mat.

Do I struggle to get her to sleep in her crib? Nope. She sleeps in her crib for most of her naps and goes down beautifully at 8 pm every night. And she sleeps for hours on end!

Is she 'clingy'? Uh, duh. She's a two month old baby! Julia is a snuggler. She likes hugs and kisses. She likes to cuddle when she's sleepy. But when she's awake, watch out! She enjoys playing on her play mat by herself and has taken to having conversations with her stuffed toys. Our girl is blossoming into a beautiful, talkative, strong willed baby.

Long story short, when Julia first started sleeping in our bed (Day 2 of being at home), I was worried. "But everyone says I shouldn't have her in my bed because she will like it too much!" It took a lot of self talk, conversations with my husband and talks with other cosleeping mamas for me to realise that Julia sleeping in our bed is natural. It's instinctive. It's what every parent did before the invention of cribs and bassinettes.

You see, it doesn't matter that there are 100s of websites out there that advise against sleeping with your child. It doesn't matter that the health visitors (and government health board) call cosleeping a big no-no. What matters is if it feels right for you. So go on, if you have been fighting cosleeping for fear of what every one else says, ignore them. In a world where people foster following your heart, there sure are a lot of opinions!

I love cosleeping with Julia. Our bond is stronger and we are both happier (and well rested)!

Do you cosleep? What benefits have you seen?